At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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