I got chris browned last night
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
