If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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