im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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