drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
