Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
