I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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