I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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