I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
