how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
