You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
