Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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