i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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