and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Come share oat with me in your robe
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
