I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize