loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
