3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
