I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
