So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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