i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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