i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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