Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
