People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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