Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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