Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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