I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
