I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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