she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize