Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
