I think i peed on brittanys purse
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
