hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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