Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
