in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
