I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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