is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
