It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
