How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
