Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
