Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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