we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
