You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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