My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
