Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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