Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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