reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
