Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
