Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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