my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
