i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
