turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
