Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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