I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
