Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
