HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
