Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
