Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
