Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
