So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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