Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
