Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
