Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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