just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
