he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
