we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
