im six kinds of drunk right now
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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