At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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