God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
