I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
