Got a toothbrush?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize