I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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