i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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