Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
