I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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