What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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