I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
