I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
